Monday, May 16, 2011

Boys and their Peens

The 7 year old comes into my room on Saturday morning when I was recovering from accidental pickleage (yes, that's a word) from the evening before and he is gripping his penis (2nd time the word penis is used on this here blog!). So, this alone is not unusual since he is pretty much always pinching it but he's also walking kinda hunched over and whining.

I open one eye and ask him what's up...

He says his penis hurts.

Ugh. I do NOT know how you dudes walk around with those things!!

Before he whips it out I say: "Boy. This is your father's department. I don't have a peen so my only advice is put some polysporin on it." (My solution to everything).

The husband took him and his peen to the doctor and tonight he comes home and I ask him if he had to show "it" to the doc...

Very excitedly he says "Yup! It was sooooooo cool!"

What the Hell?!

I ask "Why was showing the doctor your penis, cool?"

He goes: "Moooooom. You know, because normally you can't show your penis in public and the doctor was kind of public so that was cool."

And so begins my fear that he'll become a trenchcoat sportin' flasher.

24 comments:

Slidecutter said...

Men love to show their alter egos. Let's face it, they whip them out against the sides of tall buildings, trees, by the side of the highways (trust me, I always look)...they constantly touch and squeeze their peenies just to show them they care and that the little monsters aren't alone in the world.

And, my sweet Colie, most men don't drop their cell phones in the loo like some women do because they can pee standing up and talk with their free hand.

Then, they just give Mr. Peenie a little shake, zip, and they're done!

But, I agree with you; how DO they walk around with those appendages just kinda hangin' around all the time?

I'd ask my hubs but I'm choosing to ignore him at present..

Hugs!

TexaGermaNadian said...

Haha, imagine all the weird search engine hits you will get after this post. And yes, I don't know how they walk around with those things either!

PorkStar said...

hahaha, no ma'am, that has nothing to do with him becoming a flasher in the future, maybe he'll just end up like me, enjoying nudity in public places without a shame in the world. It's much better than just surprising the public with a quick flash of your junk. You simply remove clothes, sit down and read the paper. Not a care in the world.

Trust me, it's better accepted than being a pervy flasher.

Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy said...

Hilarious! He's got a point. It's the things we can't do all the time that are "cool" and special :)

Sandra said...

Wait for it! When he's 13, he'll be so intimate with his peen (love that word by the way!) he'll spend 20 minutes in the shower several times a day washing it!
Loved this post by the way! I love me a good peen post!

Lucy The Valiant said...

Boys are so funny!

Lori Dyan said...

Yesterday my 3yo asked when she'd be getting her penis. I told her to ask me again in 20-30 years...

Joshua said...

Twice I've stopped The Boy from either peeing directly into his mouth or stretching it to get it into his mouth.

Jackie said...

HILARIOUS!! BTW, I don't know why but the fact that you call it a "peen" really made me LOL. Thanks for the laugh.

Jackie @ http://tofindtheline.blogspot.com/

Kelly said...

Funny blog. I followed you.

Kelly
www.MommyWriterHood.com

Candra said...

okay...am I the only concerned/nosey person who is going to dare and ask..."What the heck was the matter with his peen?"

Colie said...

Hi lovely peeps!! I finally have a computer again and can reply to your comments...yay!!!

Colie said...

@Candra - ha ha ha! His peen is A-Ok. Boys are so freaking weird.

Colie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Colie said...

@Patty - you are soooooo right! Is nthe hubs still getting the silent treatment???

Colie said...

@TGN/Lindsey - I'm afraid! Very afraid...but then again, it's probably just Porkstar doing the demented googling ;-)

Colie said...

@Porks - naked newspaper reading in NY. You'd blend right in!!

Colie said...

@Joshua - you SURE it was your son? ;-) hee hee

Colie said...

@Lori - oh god...I'll be waiting for my 3 year old to ask the same soon since our kids seem to be on the same (twisted) path! ;-) Glad you paved the way so I can give her the same reply!

Colie said...

@Sandra. Oh lord. The horror.

Joshua said...

At least on the first part. Wait...what?

Also, strange fact: 1% of the male population can actually self-fellate (or auto-fellate, if that's your preference).

Colie said...

@Katie...true enough but I was hoping it would be more like zip lining or going to Disney...less like the thrill of showing off his peen! ha!

Colie said...

@ Lucy and Kelly - thanks for reading - I love comments!!

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