Saturday, May 14, 2011

Death by Pee

Last night we went out with friends for some drinks (Happy Friday the 13th!) and before eating any dinner (and after taking a crazy pill or two), I had a few goblet sized glasses of red wine compliments of the husband's friend who I hadn't seen in forever...

Wine = Love
So, this friend is of the crazy highly entertaining variety and historically ends up naked and dancing on something (or someone) by the end of the night and who now professes that he has matured. READ: He has fallen madly in luuuuuuurve and intends to wed his beloved this summer. He was all mushy and I ate that shit up like it was candy.

Mid-fun filled-evening I stumbled to the washroom and called the babysitter to check on the kidlets while sitting on the toilet (I'm a multi-tasker); then I stood up and dropped my cell phone directly into the pee filled toilet.
 
I instinctively yelled "MOTHER F#CKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" and then exited the stall to find a little old lady covering her bleeding ears. Whoopsy!

This will be the 5th phone I have either lost or killed in the past 2 years but the first to suffer death by pee.

RIP(ee) Sony Ericson.






23 comments:

Sunny said...

*wipes single proud tear from the corner of eye*

Good job on the 'motherfucker' blurt. You dropped your phone in peepee... Any language less severe would have been insincere. Lets not forget; F bombs heal. You did me proud.

That old lady can suck it.

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

Were your sauced tweets right before you dropped your phone? WERE YOU TWEETING FROM THE TOILET??????

Slidecutter said...

You sat ON a public toilet and dropped your cell into a yellow sea of pee?

Ewwwwwwwwww!

I had my .25 caliber pistol on a belt holster once and IT fell into the yellow sea as I balanced my butt over the john. Hubs cleaned the gun, restored it to pre-pee-drop condition and has never let me forget it.

Don't tell him I told you.

TYVM

Cheeseboy said...

Eh, if it worked, I'd still use it.

Chris said...

I love how Canadians say "washroom," the American "restroom" is so uncouth, not to mention graphic... I also vaguely believe Shelley might have said this once on Northern Exposure. Hmmmm.

Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy said...

Oh, Colie, how you make me smile. Poor Sony Ericson...what a way to go. But when you have to go, you have to go.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

TexaGermaNadian said...

You for sure spiced up that lady's night! Haha. Sorry about your phone. You must be really PISSED off about it. Haha, I'm hilarious :) Glad you had a fun night out!

No. 7 said...

Who hasn't let a motherfucker rip in public? That lady? Well, then she's a fuh-reak! Go buy an Android and try not to pee on it. :)

PorkStar said...

LMFAO, i couldn't help but crack my ass up when I read this on your twitter, sorry I took pleasure (non sexually) about your loss, but it was funny, just thinking about it, I would have pointed out and laugh.

Then again, I have no reason to be at the ladies' bathroom even in my imagination because....

Well actually why not?

Colie said...

@Sunny - you are SO right!!! F bombs do heal and I've been f-bombing it all over town since your advice! Gonna drop a few in therapy tomorrow. :)

Colie said...

@Patty - here's something weird about me - I'm a bat shit crazy germ a phone but when I need to pee I will pee ANYWHERE!!!! And I don't even hover!!!!!! Gasp!!!!!

Wait. Why are you carrying a pee pistol!??!!!

Colie said...

@Dweej - heavens no! I never tweet from the toilet. An occasional blog post maybe but never the twitter!!!!

Colie said...

@Cheeseboy - I scooped that bad boy up and would totally still use the pee phone but it died a very quick death. My pee is powerful.

Colie said...

@Katie & TGN - you two are very, very punny!!!!!
:)

Colie said...

@Chris - yep, us Canadians are tres couth ;-)

Colie said...

@No.7 - I'm such a loser... Have no idea what an android is! Don't tell anyone but I just figured out how to text (badly)! Ha!

Colie said...

@Porks- I'm totally a point and laugh kinda gal!! I have to say the washroom where I killed the Sony was one of the prettiest I've ever seen - with a fireplace and a big screen TV - you'd have enjoyed it! :)

Slidecutter said...

lol Colie...I'm fully licensed to carry a firearm; the .25 is a little "evening" gun. Slips into a handbag, pocket, ankle holster or a little belt holster. It slipped out of that belt thingy and went swimmin' in pee.

Now I carry a .38, shoulder holster most of the time. Would rather be safe instead of squirtin' pee at someone's head.

cakeologist said...

I once dropped a flask full of Crown out of my pocket and into the pee. I contemplated rinsing it off and pretending it never happened, but I just couldn't do it...it was a nice flask too!

Joshua said...

Never done this myself, but I've replaced The Wife's phone twice from this catastrophe.

Colie said...

@Joshua - you SURE it was the wife??? :)

Colie said...

@Patty. Knowing this makes me love you even more!

Colie said...

@cakeologist - I have scooped many things out of the toilet but I think even I would skip the flask! Speaking of which, I've never owned a flask. Sad.