A what now?
Then class began and I forgot all about the duffle bag man and I entered blissdom.*
Let me tell you about restorative yoga people. There are eye masks, there are head rubbins, there are cozy blankets to be tucked into. There is BLISS.
The instructor was phenomenal. She also had a mohawk. Need I say more? At one point I am lying down under a blanket which she kindly tucked me into, eye mask on, blanket rolled under my neck, big comfy pillow tube thingy under my knees (yes, that is the proper yoga term), breathing....just breathing...feeling better than I have in a very long time...and then she asks if we want peppermint oil.
Well, I don't know what she's gonna do with the peppermint oil and I can't see a freaking thing with my lovely eye mask on but my answer is yes. YES! YES! YES! Bring on the oil baby!! Slowly I can smell it wafting across the room and my desire for a Mint Aero bar becomes pretty intense...but I'm breathing...breathing...I am vaguely aware that she's moving around the room but I have no idea what is going on and I am so freaking blissed out that I don't care to move or even peek. I'm eagerly awaiting her visit to my mat.
And then - brace yourselves - the instructor rubbed some peppermint oil on her hands and gave me head rubbins people! A freaking massage o' the head. Only myveryfavoritethingintheentirefreakingworld!!!(Something I usually have to trade sexual favors for at my house ~ and the husband doesn't even use essential oils).
The class continued on with one more blissful relaxing pose after another until we ended with the most touching Celtic prayer I've ever heard, which we initially spoke and then sang. The instructor's voice was so beautiful that it made me cry. I couldn't sing the prayer after I heard her sing because her voice struck me to my deepest core and all I could do was stand there with my hands in the heart position and let the tears stream down my face.
So, that's where I'll be two days a week. Being restored. Mind, body and soul.
Also, I really want a mohawk now but that might be a little too Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female.
*And I didn't even have to smoke anything before class. Not that I would ever do such a thing.
**It should be noted that while this class made me cry, it made Sissy laugh hysterically. I'm talking a crazy @ss laugh in which there was snorting. She laughed so hard all the way to the car that I thought she might hyperventilate. I almost peed laughing at her laughter. It's amazing the emotions that yoga brings up. Well, that, or her cheese has slipped right off her cracker.