I would love to say I got this injury while leaping tall buildings in a single bound or while saving a small child from running out into the street, or during some week long sexcapade (What? Who said that?!) but no, I was simply moving my left foot out from under the blanket to get up out of bed. Seriously?! What kind of person has to get crutches from simply waking up??!! Ummmm. This lame-o. I went to step out of bed and couldn't put my foot down. Like at all. Searing pain. Boyfriend carries me to bathroom and plops me onto toilet. Well, this will not do. I hopped on one foot - breathing like I have not exercised in oh about 10 years because oh, y'know, I have not exercised in about 10 years. I hop around making lunches and thinking surely this will pass any minute...I send the kids off to school with the boyfriend because I can't drive my car, which is a standard.
No thank you bum ankle.
Boyfriend comes home and nonchalantly mentions his back is hurting. Feels kinda like when he had kidney stones, he says. Do dee do dee do. Insert panic here. My panic. Not his. He minimizes the pain despite me grilling him every 2.3 seconds about whether he is okay. Yup. All good he says. It passed. Big ol' fibber. He acts as my human crutch and we head to the doctor. Turns out I have a freak tendon injury. Crutches, drugs, rest, and an ankle brace is ordered. On the day right before our 5 day Easter weekend is to begin...which I have been counting down to for no less than 3 months.
Boyfriend's back pain keeps coming and going. He is starting to look a little more concerned as we get home and I get settled. He did basically carry me around all morning and I have eaten a LOT of pre-Easter chocolate. Please let it be that. He heads to doctor - - for himself this time. I want to go with him but can't walk and I tip over on crutches. I'm beyond ridiculous on crutches. Stay home and rest, he says to me, it's probably nothing. On route, he almost passes out. Heads straight to ER and sure enough - - kidney stones. Did I mention he has only one kidney? Just to complicate things.
What the Hell are the odds? He needs surgery on the day I can't drive!!! I finally get a drive there to be with him. To the hospital where my mother died. Not my favorite place. Have I mentioned before that I have a phobia of germs and vomiting? Emergency Rooms, also not my favorite place. Sick people go there. And the kidney stones are making the boyfriend feel really nauseated. Insert MAJOR panic here. But I stumble into the ER on my crutches.
It must be true love, the nurses say.
So, he's completely stoned to manage the horrible pain and I can't stand up. I covet his morphine drip every time someone gags or I hear the guy in the next curtained room moaning. There always seem to be moaners at the ER. I spend a lot of time with my fingers in my ears. And I can't even flee if I need to. Stupid crutches.
It has been a long time since I crawled into a hospital bed with anyone. The only other time was when my mother was dying. I used to snuggle up with her in the hospital bed. I do the same with the adorable boyfriend, who took care of me when he had freaking kidney stones.
THAT is love.
|All tucked in. |
NOTE: He loves that I documented this day in photos.
As they're taking him to the operating room, he starts to feel sick to his stomach again and I essentially accost the nurse and beg for more Gravol. Give him Gravol please. Can he have more Gravol now? He neeeeeeds gravol. Now. GRAVOL! GRAVOL! GRAVOL!!!! STAT!!!!
I'm a raving lunatic. But I manage to stay and pretend to be calm. For him.
And here's something else pretty amazing, the ex-husband is the one who picks up the kids for me while we're waiting for him to go into surgery and it is the ex-husband who later comes to my house to stay with the kids while I go pick up boyfriend at the hospital at 11:00 o'clock at night after his operation. I am surrounded by truly kind, thoughtful men. I have made some really good choices.
I manage to drive with crutches flung into back seat of boyfriend's car and hobble along through the hospital to get him. We are quite a pair. Me on crutches and him in a wheel chair.
And I felt incredibly lucky in that moment.
We had to tweak our Easter plans a bit but still managed to fit in a delicious brunch (made up mostly of desserts and sausages) with some of my favorite people, an Easter egg hunt, and bubble gum blowing contest.
'Cause that's how we roll.
Happy to report that the past weekend we took a delightful road trip with snowball fights, maple syrup and of course, more sausages. We're dedicated sausage people. It more than made up for the craziness of the weekend before.
|I loves me some sugar on a stick!|
That is all.